The Path To The Masculine Heart

…runs through the valley of tears, grief, and fears.

Annnnnnnd… What this truly means is that we have been disconnected from our pain and our repressed and self-repressed actions for so long that we need to feel not only the joy but come to terms with our suffering (collective and individual) of what we have been avoiding for so long.

Here, we will feel true freedom. When we do this in the witnessing of other men — brothers we mutually respect and care for, when we are truly seen without shame, without restriction and in fullness we release internal torture that has been with us for millennia.

In my life, I have suppressed so much. I pretended life was great when inside I was dying. Ashamed, confused and frustrated. I couldn’t express this because I felt judged and society told me this is not healthy masculinity. And whilst leaky, watery emotions or disconnected vomited emotions are not grounded in healthy masculinity, neither is suppression, emotional compression and avoidance.

I hid and ran from myself. My outlets were not healthy, but rather destructive towards myself — alcohol, pornography, work, sex or towards others — dishonesty, manipulation (hyper-selfishness), projected aggression and more. Men need an outlet… We all do, its part of what makes us human.

When I began to connect the dots cognitively and began to act authentically — feel, release and be without shame and self-judgment I began to loosen up. I felt more empowered, I felt closer in my relationships and I believed in myself more and took that healthy business risk or communicated my needs in my relationship.

Feeling is freeing. HOW we do it counts and whether we do it matters even more at the beginning. Find a tribe that cannot support your expression, hear your voice and see your shadows. Your shadows are not “bad”. They are here to teach you, train you and mould you into the next iteration of presence.

What will you choose? Feeling OR fleeing?

One is glad to be of service.