The Wounded Inner Child’s Journey
Working with the wounded inner child is only part of the healing journey. We must also address the “imported parts” — the voices that are not our own…
Perhaps as a child, you felt incredibly high standards thrust upon you. You felt suffocated with the need to do better or do more. What lever you did wasn’t “good enough”. Mom loved you but demanded so much. As an adult, you’re a high achiever, a perfectionist, and constantly slander yourself for not being and doing more.
As a child, you were criticized harshly. You were hit and yelled at and dad never seemed happy, always frustrated. As a child, you felt scared and timid. As an adult, you don’t stand up for yourself and your inner self-talk is harsh, abrasive, and critical, which also often leaks on to others. You almost hate yourself and you’re not appreciative of what you have.
Your sibling was born and you repeatedly heard that you’re not a priority, not important and that you should remain quiet. As a child, you felt lonely, hid in shame under your bed, and stopped voicing your perspectives and feelings. As an adult you avoid conflict, people please, remain quiet in discussions, and hide from the world being unsocial and feeling isolated.
As a child perhaps you experienced sexual abuse and trusting as an adult is so difficult. Perhaps you give your word away or pursue adrenaline and intense experiences just so you can feel as if you had to almost “disassociate” and disconnect from your body as a child to avoid the pain. You made those experiences mean that you’re not important so you give your energy, self, and resources away
You are more than your past. You are not limited to the “big T” or “little t” trauma you experienced. You are not your parent’s pain or their limitations. You are free to choose your own voice and your own path.
As a child my father was violent. As an adult, I felt I had to protect myself, so I fought. He constantly told me I was wrong. I still notice in my intimate relationships, when I feel I f*ck up or do something “wrong”, I feel immense and immediate shame. That is not mine. That is my father’s, coupled with my wounded little boy within rearing itself at that time in order to cope.
We have choices. You’re not alone. Reach out. You are loved.
One is glad to be of service.